Junior Charles and I (Nancy), discussed our opinions and observations on the state of contemporary romance and dating. We came to the following conclusions. We’re not offering any advice, but maybe you can offer us some.
Junior Charles (Him)
Once upon a time there existed a gentleman who would open your carriage door. He would walk on the outside to ensure no harm would come to you. He would kiss your hand as a greeting and pay you sincere compliments. This man has been worn into a blundering idiot by the women of society today.
My name is Junior Charles and I am a serial dater. No – I don’t spend my time flirting with Kelloggs boxes, or paying for Alpen to get into the cinema. More a serial dater in the sense that I hold ye olde values of courtship and chivalry close to heart. And I’m a mug for it – because in 2010 women don’t care about these things. Before writing this feature I went on what I would classify as a date with 3 different women. 18, 22 and 27 years of age. And each one of them made me doubt the values I’ve held for years.
Today’s women don’t want you to open doors, kiss their hands or even be nice. They want you to be aloof, disinterested and crude. That is the bio-diesel/ electric hybrid that runs the engines of these new feminists. A kiss on the cheek after a first date? No, that is androgynous behaviour. You prude! Do you buy a car before test driving it? Do you inspect a new house before taking out a mortgage? Yes. Ergo, do you respect a woman’s boundaries by driving her home before retiring to your own sanctuary? No – apparently you now let yourself in, disrobe and demand sexual favours. This is what women want.
If you open a door, you are a sexist. If you kiss a cheek, you are a homosexual. If you offer to pay – well of course you are paying, what kind of man goes Dutch on a date!? The rules have been so warped and twisted that a month down the line a gentleman will find himself £300 out of pocket with nothing to show for it but blue balls and a succession of cold showers.
Women don’t date anymore. There is no time between applying make-up and removing make-up for dating. Now I can hear what you are thinking and no, I am not a misogynist, nor have I been recently burnt by a woman. My point is this; I’ll happily pay for the meal, but ladies – at least offer to go halves. Offer in the knowledge that I will say “no, don’t be silly this is on me”. At least the offer shows a level of integrity and assuredness. The sincerity is irrelevant.
Men, be not gentle. This is the hour of the alpha male, the perv, the slob, the degenerate. Once upon a time, women wanted slick businessmen. Then that became too cliché and they wanted rugged businessmen, and that was okay. Then the businessmen talked too much shop and women just wanted the rugged man, and that was okay too. But now the pendulum of female insanity has swung so far in the wrong direction that all that’s left is a grunting, unshaven man with a credit card. And fortunately for women, this man does not date. This man eats and his business transpires in the bedroom. And they love it. Women swoon, pretending it is some maternal yearning to care for another being, when really, at the crux of the matter women just want to eat and shag as well.
So what becomes of our gentleman? The courteous, humble servant who tends to a woman’s every whim and request? The attentive ear? The praising lip? The caring arm? It seems that even though it isn’t Christmas, he will be spending his time in front of a computer filling socks.
Nancy Magoo (Her)
My name is Nancy, commitment-phobe extraordinaire and while I see some valid points in what Junior Charles is saying, I’m here to make somewhat of a rebuttal. I believe that women do care about whether a man is chivalrous and a gentleman. Whether or not women expect men to behave like this is another story.
I don’t believe that dating is outdated at all. Where Junior Charles finds women to be over sexualised and not receptive to romantic gestures, I find it is exactly the opposite. It would be lovely to be taken “out on a date”. To prove that my experiences have nothing been like the aforementioned situations, let me tell you a bit about some of my experiences with men.
The closest I’ve come to romance is a guy who repeatedly asked me out then sent me 30-40 red roses with “please reconsider” written on the note. Sounds romantic but after numerous rejections it was just annoying. Then there was the guy that crept around my house, peering through my windows. The most defining evidence that I have found that chivalry is dead, is the guy who started beating off while I was at his place watching TV, after we had gone out for a lovely dinner.
There needs to be some sort of happy compromise between my realities, of over sexualised men who have no idea that a good conversation is a more effective form of getting into girls pants, than just blatantly leering at them or flashing their money around whilst simultaneously having no substance, personality wise.
Women do not want a particular style of man; I myself can’t even pinpoint what I want. To generalise would be idiotic. I know women or should I say girls who seem to subconsciously chase after men who will bring more drama in their life. If you are a romantic, then you should find someone that appreciates that and not have to compromise yourself to the point where you become resentful. If you’re an unappreciative jerk then maybe some compromise would help though.
What I’m trying to saying is; media has romanticised romance to such a point that it get girls all gooey, gushy and expectant of something that will probably never happen. If expectations are too high, they might miss the small gestures that people do that may be equally as valiant and romantic. Even though I’m a sceptic, I do know for sure that love is what you make of it.